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Take My Wife, Please.

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Right now this story is just dock talk—I haven't been able to find valid documentation for it—but I want it to be true so bad I can taste it. My spies (they're everywhere) tell me there was a couple hijacked by pirates off Australia recently. The pirates offered the husband his freedom if they could keep his wife. He obliged, and they set him adrift in the life boat. He was picked up by a passing boat and brought back to Australia eventually—where his wife had already made her way, and was in the process of divorcing him, and pressing kidnapping charges. If you have heard any wind of this story please email me at I promise you I will write the hell out of this thing if it's true.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!