Spoof Section — December
By Capt. Ken Kreisler
Zapping the Kitty
Tries... Acme’s Edible Grease
How many times have you been down in your engine room or scrunched up in your bilge when the munchies hit? With a tube of Edible Grease in your toolbox, you need never go hungry again.
The Acme Products and Lawn Furniture Company’s all-purpose grease uses a special patented synthetic rendering of seal blubber as its base. Other ingredients include soy, bean curd, and a blended extract of guava and garbanzo beans. The result is highly efficient grease that is downright tasty and nutritious. I know. I’ve used it not only to coat the battery terminals on a friend’s boat but also to top a sourdough baguette at the same time.
Edible Grease is available at most marine outlets or directly from the manufacturer. MSRP is $2.39 for nine ounces or $3.39 for 12 ounces. —K.K.
Acme Products Phone: (300) MMM-GOOD. www.acmeproductsandlawnfurniture.com.
This article originally appeared in the November 2003 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.