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Maintenance

Zapping the Kitty

Maintenance DOA Special Spoof Section December 2003
By Capt. Ken Kreisler


Zapping the Kitty
A solution that may turn around a potentially devastating accident, plus good advice for a confused boater.
 
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I mistakenly deployed the CO2-charged fire-suppression system, and unfortunately our cat, which likes the warmth of the engine room, took the full brunt of the blast. She was, of course, flash frozen. I immediately got her into the freezer. As you can well imagine, the kids are quite upset. How do I solve this problem? R.M.N., via e-mail
Serendipitous as it may seem, I just read an article by a Dr. F.N. Stein on www.raisingthedead.com. The good doctor is involved in landmark research on prolonging the freshness of flash-frozen foods.

It is the doctor’s contention that living organic matter, when flash frozen, can be reanimated to a healthy condition. Continue to keep kitty in the deep freeze while you take your boat out, and run it until the engine room warms up. Once the area is nice and toasty, place her in the exact spot you found her. Stein states you should avoid any chance of traumatizing the organism when it comes to.

As illustrated in the accompanying diagram, place one lead from a fully charged, 12-V deep-cycle battery to one rear paw and the other lead to any ear tip. Standard alligator-type clips will do. When you see the frost begin to melt, give her a jolt by turning the battery switch to on. It may also be a good idea to have the kids present when your pet opens her eyes to help ease the transition.

In the worst-case scenario, as long as you are out at sea, a waterside service is a nice way to bring closure to the whole affair, after which you can visit your local animal shelter and get another pet. Kids are resilient. They’ll get over it. And don’t forget to recharge your fire-suppression system.

I can’t get my compass to stop spinning when I make turns or change direction while underway. Any suggestions? B.C., via e-mail
I’d strongly suggest taking up another leisurely pursuit such as building model airplanes or collecting dry cleaning tags. On second thought, forget about the model airplanes, as they require using glue. Whatever you’ve been abusing has obviously done some permanent damage.

Someone like you should not be allowed out on the water, even in an inner tube. I’d also advise that family members keep a close watch when you’re in the bathtub. In fact, give me your marina location and a detailed description of your boat and the usual days and times you leave the dock. I can alert all those in your area to keep a sharp eye out. In addition, you should be registered with the U.S. Coast Guard as a dangerous weapon.

Need help with a maintenance problem? If you’ve got a question like the ones posted here, write to one of the other boating magazines. Their level of expertise is more suitable for such inquiries.

Next page > PMY Tries... Edible Grease > Page 1, 2

This article originally appeared in the November 2003 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.

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