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Fish Are Now Apparently Sick of Water

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but lately giant, suicidal fish have been jumping into boats pretty much unprovoked. Seems counterintuitive to survival to me, but I guess that's why I'm at the top of the food chain and they're not. ("Oohhh but the mako shark is at the top of the food chain, Kevin! Blah, blah, blah." No. It's not. You know why? Because I've eaten a mako steak before and a mako has never had a Kevin steak. I know this for a fact.)

 

In the Keys last week, a 300-pound eagle ray spread its wings and soared—straight out of the water and onto a boat where it landed on top of a woman and started flopping around like a ... there's so many jokes, soooo many jokes I want to make. But I won't. This is a family blog.

And then just yesterday Jaws over here comes hopscotching his way into some poor guy's cockpit like a GD scud missile when all he was trying to do was catch some snapper and maybe enjoy a frosty beverage. Hope he brought a change of shorts.

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