Ahoy, Machiavelli! Page 2

At Sea — June 2005
By Capt. Bill Pike

Ahoy, Machiavelli!
Part 2: Reasonable, shmeasonable! I’ve been tracking the perfect Sabreline for three months now.

Illustration: Joseph Daniel Fiedler
 More of this Feature

• Part 1: Ahoy, Machiavelli!
• Part 2: Ahoy, Machiavelli! continued

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• At Sea Index

With the groundwork laid, I put the next step of my plan into play. Of course, I was at this juncture already exquisitely familiar with every Sabreline Fast Trawler for sale on the planet, thanks to the Internet. Year built? Electronics? Engine hours? Standards? Options? Price? Had you asked me for the exact dates of my children’s birthdays or my mother’s maiden name during this phase, I’d have stumbled. Had you asked me any of the aforementioned questions, about any of the aforementioned boats, I’d have answered with surgical precision. And, what’s more, I’d have tossed in hull color, mast style, dinghy type, and a raft of other essentials based on the excellent photos I’d found.

So here’s what I did. With clockwork regularity, I toted my Wi-Fi-capable laptop to bed each night for weeks so that, in close proximity to my wife, I could blather while perusing Internet imagery of the several Sabrelines I was obsessed with.

My wife: “That is a cute one, Bill—nice and traditional looking.”

Me: “Yep…she’s a beauty isn’t she, Beej? Fast, too—cruise speed’s 18 knots and wide open throttle’s 22 knots. And check it out—brand new Raymarine C80 radar/plotter!”

Truth to tell, my wife doesn’t care about radar/plotters, particularly when she’s tired. And I was fully aware that she probably understood exactly why I was lugging my laptop to bed night after night. But, even so, there’s a good deal to be gained on the personal-persuasion front from plain ol’ repetition. Think about it: Why else do big-league advertisers propagandize the whole nation with nightly TV spots consisting of repetitive images and words? It works!

So how are things going? How successful have I been at getting my wife safely onboard the maritime equivalent of the American dream (i.e., buying a new boat and using her to cruise whither whim directs)?

My wife: “Let’s buy the Sabreline in November, Bill. After hurricane season. That way we’ll have time to settle in, finish the work that needs doing on the house, and not have to worry about boats and bad weather. We can spend Christmas afloat! Or Thanksgiving!”

Me (as if in happy agreement): “Yep, sounds reasonable, Beej.”

Reasonable, shmeasonable! I’ve been tracking the perfect Sabreline for three months now. My patience is wearin’ thin. And what’s more, the broker and I are now on a nickname basis. He called a few days ago to congratulate me on the purchase of our new house. He called a few days before that to congratulate me on the sale of our old house. He’s told me how much his daughter’s wedding is gonna cost—to the last penny! How much longer can I go on draggin’ my feet and disappointing my very best friend in all the world?

And get this! He called this morning to let me know that danged if there isn’t some guy outta Texas sniffin’ around! The guy wants to test drive my boat! Soon

Can I really afford to wait until November? Stay tuned.

Previous page > Part 1: The manipulative matrimonial machinations of buying a new boat. > Page 1, 2

This article originally appeared in the May 2005 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.

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