If These Walls Could Talk Page 3

If These Walls Could Talk

Tall tales and not-so-romantic legends from aboard the world’s finest yachts.

By Kim Kavin — August 2003


Illustration: Richard Clark
 More of this Feature
• Wet Behind the Ears
• Accidental Porn Stars
• Mama’s Little Angel
• Bare Brainers

 Related Resources
• Feature Index
• Megayacht Index

Mama’s Little Angel
A power couple in the movie business needed a way to satiate their teenage son’s desire to backpack through Europe. They’re a bit overprotective, so instead of letting him go, they arranged as a high school graduation gift to fly him on a private jet from Los Angeles to Barcelona, where he was to catch a train and meet them on a yacht in the south of France for a two-week charter. To sweeten the sound of their compromise, they allowed him to bring five friends.

The mother was specific in her instructions to the crew: “Make this trip special for my angel. He’s such a good boy, and he’s worked so hard.”

By day three of the trip, the crew started noticing that Angel Boy and his friends had bloodshot eyes most of the time and that some of the top-shelf bottles from the owner’s liquor cabinet had gone missing. The crew had no proof of bad behavior beyond the booze and so kept quiet with their suspicions about drugs—even after the mother accused them of stealing liquor for themselves and placing it on her bill.

Around day five Angel Boy and his buddies were partying like banshees, raging on deck all night. When guests are up, crew must be up to serve them, and the wee-hours routine started to wear on the crew. As week two of the charter began, one of the stewardesses took it upon herself to introduce Angel Boy to the fear of God.

She waited until one afternoon when the entire charter party was ashore, then went into Angel Boy’s stateroom to search for the stash. She found the room’s safe bulging with hashish and confronted Angel Boy upon his return. He and his choir pleaded innocent, but she told him she was going to call the police and spread the story around so his parents would be blackballed from the charter world forever. She even had the captain lecture the teens about the perils of “lesser-known European prisons.”

Angel Boy lived up to his name for the rest of the charter, never knowing how the crew really felt.

“About the drugs, we really could care less,” one of the crew members later confided. “We were just plain tired.”

Next page > Bare Brainers > Page 1, 2, 3, 4

This article originally appeared in the July 2003 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.

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