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Calling All Lonely Sea Captains

If you spend any time on a computer and are also a boater, you know there a lot of boating-related Web sites. Whether it's fishing, maintenance, boat tests, or just the chance to trade stories with fellow boaters, there's at least one—and more likely a whole lot more—Web sites that cater to your particular passion.

Passion—hold on to that thought because I'll be coming back to it.

Some of these sites are extremely authoritative and very well done. Others—well not so much. That's the democratic nature of the Web. So you if you're a real enthusiast, you have to be willing to take the good with the bad.

Which brings me to the subject of this blog, a  Web site  my daughter found called Seacaptaindate.com. As the name implies, the site is purportedly a place for women to meet and date "sea captains." I put that term in parentheses because the site never quite defines what a sea captain is. The narrator, a tubby middle-ager, decked out with the requisite beard, turtleneck sweater, and 1950s-era captain's hat, would be a pretty good stand-in for the captain on Gilligans's Island, but even Jonas Grumby of the S.S. Minnow would not have talked about how he likes to chat with his fellow captains on his CB radio. But this guy does, and then it gets worse. I won't spoil the fun but I will tell you that the experience of seeing this XXL-size faux seaman cavort on the beach barefoot,  with his pant legs rolled up to above his calves, chasing a woman that looks to be half his age—if that—simultaneously evoked in me both pity and derision. Check it out. Who knows? Maybe you really will find the love of your life there. For as the 20-something babe concludes at the end of the video, "Why settle for a boy with a car when you can have a man with a yacht?" Or maybe a supertanker?