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Looks like Weird Uncle Al Is at It Again

No idea if this guy's name is Uncle Al or not, but I'd bet dollars to donuts whoever this cat is, he's known to the local townsfolk by a moniker starting with the word "weird." I know freestyle canoeing isn't exactly in the wheelhouse of the modern-day yachtsman, but these videos are burning up the internet right now and I felt it my duty to share with you since it does take place in a boat. It's strangely compelling, and compellingly strange.

I've watched this video three times now and I still can't figure out why the people in the audience clap. Best I can tell, they clap when you turn. Turning. That's what counts for athletic prowess in this sport. I wish my parents had got me started in this racket when I was young enough not to care what girls thought about me. Because I guaran-freaking-tee you this. Had I started doing this as a lad, I would have ended up being the Lebron James of freestyle canoeing if Lebron James could close out games. Grace and showmanship like you read about in the Sunday papers. Turns as smooth as a duck's out there on that glassy pond of glory. People clapping 'til their palms bled.

It's true what they say. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. But don't weep for me just yet, friends. I'm headed to Paragon Sports tonight. Going to pick me up a fancy canoe and start making up for lost time. Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years.