Can a Real Pirate Retire?
It was with a heavy heart that notorious Somali pirate Mohamed Abdi Hassan, known as “Big Mouth,” announced today that he will be retiring from piracy. At a press conference (that’s right, press conference), Hassan said, “after being a pirate for eight years, I have decided to renounce and quit, and from today on I will not be involved with this gang activity.” According to several sources, Hassan was involved with the 2008 capture of the Saudi-owned oil tanker Sirius Star and the Ukrainian transport ship M/V Faina, both of which were eventually released for several million dollars. One can only imagine that Hassan will now head into his golden years, and settle down in a nice little corrugated tin hut on the beach somewhere. (Actually I’m just kidding. I think he’s probably going to jail.)