Subscribe to our newsletter

Immovable Object, Unstoppable Force, Miss Each Other By Inches

 Allure of the Seas

This is the just-launched, 1,181-foot MS Allure of the Seas, passing under the Store Belt Bridge in Denmark last Friday en route to her homeport in Fort Lauderdale.  She had, according to reports, between 20 and 1.5 inches of clearance, depending on sea conditions.  Now I'm no physicist—I barely eked out a B- in high school physics even though my football coach was the teacher—but I'm pretty positive if you run a 225,000-ton ship into a freaking suspension bridge, some serious VIOLENCE is gonna go down.  Like, the space-time continuum immediately unravels, the universe flips inside out and Anna Nicole Smith returns from the dead to the rule the earth as she deems fit.  At least, that's what my textbook said anyway.

Wow. I'm really just impressed by this captain though.  Guys got some coconuts, huh? I bet the First Officer was running around the bridge like Godzilla was chasing him trying to eat his whole face off, being like "Nnnooo, the bridge! We'll never fit!  Anna Nicole Smith, blah blah blah." And the captain was just like, "Pfft, I eat 1.5 inches of clearance like its jelly beans. Full steam ahead, my dude." Just straight ice-water in his veins.  I'll follow that guy into the trenches everyday of the week and twice on Sunday.  What a warrior.