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TRAWLER YACHT
I need a trawler yacht because, should I be hit by the urge to cruise across the Atlantic, I can do so knowing that my stout, burly vessel can encounter virtually anything and survive. There is something very satisfying and relaxing about plodding along at 10 knots day-in and day-out through fair and foul weather until one's destination is reached. Besides, all that heavy-duty ship-type hardware is cool.

My trawler will be about 80 feet long with a draft of eight feet and many tons of ballast in the keel. She will have a reversed, North Sea trawler-type stern and a high, flared bow. She will have enough range to cover 5,000 miles at 10 knots and be powered by twin super-simple engines, such as a pair of slow-turning Gardners. She will have a heavy, solid fiberglass or steel hull with a cored-fiberglass superstructure, and the exterior will be painted with a broom (but the interior will be finished to fine yacht standards).

MACHO SPEEDBOAT
I must have a macho speedboat so I can wear my never-used gold chains and chest and back toupees that I keep in the bedroom drawer. Also because going very fast in a seaway is a lot of fun. Consequently, my macho boat will be 50 feet long with a transom deadrise of 75 degrees for an extremely soft ride. There will be no candy-ass graphics adorning my boat. She will be finished in flat-black paint that looks like suede with gloss-black trim. She will be powered by four Lamborghini V-12s because of the great sound they make and because manipulating four throttles (like a 747 pilot) is cool. While these engines may not be long-lived, they make wonderful cocktail tables after they blow up.

FAST DAY BOAT
This would be a boat to fast-cruise to the Bahamas for lunch and return the same day. Some call these boats “picnic cruisers,” which to me is a rather silly name because as we all know, cruising is no picnic. It's hard work. For one to have a true picnic boat, one needs a big expansive deck (with artificial turf) large enough to lay out a big blanket for people to sit on. I will be ordering mine with a big wicker basket and the optional fire-ant package to make things truly realistic.

Next month in our annual screw-bung issue, I’ll describe the other five boats I need. Don’t miss it. In the meantime, I think I'll add a few finger floats to my dock. Just in case I hit the lottery.

Tom Fexas is a marine engineer and designer of powerboats. His Web site is www.tomfexas.com.

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