I need a trawler yacht because, should I be hit by the urge to cruise
across the Atlantic, I can do so knowing that my stout, burly vessel can
encounter virtually anything and survive. There is something very satisfying
and relaxing about plodding along at 10 knots day-in and day-out through
fair and foul weather until one's destination is reached. Besides, all
that heavy-duty ship-type hardware is cool.
My trawler will be about 80 feet long with a draft of eight feet and many
tons of ballast in the keel. She will have a reversed, North Sea trawler-type
stern and a high, flared bow. She will have enough range to cover 5,000
miles at 10 knots and be powered by twin super-simple engines, such as
a pair of slow-turning Gardners. She will have a heavy, solid fiberglass
or steel hull with a cored-fiberglass superstructure, and the exterior
will be painted with a broom (but the interior will be finished to fine
I must have a macho speedboat so I can wear my never-used gold chains
and chest and back toupees that I keep in the bedroom drawer. Also because
going very fast in a seaway is a lot of fun. Consequently, my macho boat
will be 50 feet long with a transom deadrise of 75 degrees for an extremely
soft ride. There will be no candy-ass graphics adorning my boat. She will
be finished in flat-black paint that looks like suede with gloss-black
trim. She will be powered by four Lamborghini V-12s because of the great
sound they make and because manipulating four throttles (like a 747 pilot)
is cool. While these engines may not be long-lived, they make wonderful
cocktail tables after they blow up.
FAST DAY BOAT This would be a boat to fast-cruise to the Bahamas for lunch and return
the same day. Some call these boats “picnic cruisers,” which
to me is a rather silly name because as we all know, cruising is no picnic.
It's hard work. For one to have a true picnic boat, one needs a big expansive
deck (with artificial turf) large enough to lay out a big blanket for
people to sit on. I will be ordering mine with a big wicker basket and
the optional fire-ant package to make things truly realistic.
Next month in our annual screw-bung issue, I’ll describe the other
five boats I need. Don’t miss it. In the meantime, I think I'll add
a few finger floats to my dock. Just in case I hit the lottery.
Tom Fexas is a marine
engineer and designer of powerboats. His Web site is www.tomfexas.com.
This Memorial Day, remember those who were lost serving our country on the high seas in the U.S. Navy aboard PT Boats. Recently we were invited out for a ride on the only operational combat-veteran PT Boat, PT 305 in New Orleans.
See what it was like here. ▶