I need a trawler yacht because, should I be hit by the urge to cruise
across the Atlantic, I can do so knowing that my stout, burly vessel can
encounter virtually anything and survive. There is something very satisfying
and relaxing about plodding along at 10 knots day-in and day-out through
fair and foul weather until one's destination is reached. Besides, all
that heavy-duty ship-type hardware is cool.
My trawler will be about 80 feet long with a draft of eight feet and many
tons of ballast in the keel. She will have a reversed, North Sea trawler-type
stern and a high, flared bow. She will have enough range to cover 5,000
miles at 10 knots and be powered by twin super-simple engines, such as
a pair of slow-turning Gardners. She will have a heavy, solid fiberglass
or steel hull with a cored-fiberglass superstructure, and the exterior
will be painted with a broom (but the interior will be finished to fine
I must have a macho speedboat so I can wear my never-used gold chains
and chest and back toupees that I keep in the bedroom drawer. Also because
going very fast in a seaway is a lot of fun. Consequently, my macho boat
will be 50 feet long with a transom deadrise of 75 degrees for an extremely
soft ride. There will be no candy-ass graphics adorning my boat. She will
be finished in flat-black paint that looks like suede with gloss-black
trim. She will be powered by four Lamborghini V-12s because of the great
sound they make and because manipulating four throttles (like a 747 pilot)
is cool. While these engines may not be long-lived, they make wonderful
cocktail tables after they blow up.
FAST DAY BOAT This would be a boat to fast-cruise to the Bahamas for lunch and return
the same day. Some call these boats “picnic cruisers,” which
to me is a rather silly name because as we all know, cruising is no picnic.
It's hard work. For one to have a true picnic boat, one needs a big expansive
deck (with artificial turf) large enough to lay out a big blanket for
people to sit on. I will be ordering mine with a big wicker basket and
the optional fire-ant package to make things truly realistic.
Next month in our annual screw-bung issue, I’ll describe the other
five boats I need. Don’t miss it. In the meantime, I think I'll add
a few finger floats to my dock. Just in case I hit the lottery.
Tom Fexas is a marine
engineer and designer of powerboats. His Web site is www.tomfexas.com.